I'm a Super Proud Person

Remember how I feel about time that runs so fast?

Tracing me back to the old elementary school times,
when envying my friend's cool school bag, or
seeing them having the newest barbie collection was the only problem.

Now that I have lots of thing in mind,
family, good grades, money, time management, and the lovey-dovey thingy, too,
how I wish I could just open my desk drawer, hop in to a time machine to send me back
to at least 10 years ago.

Yet, I guess that's what gonna happen 10 years from now,
when jobs, crisis, having husband and kids freak me out,
I'll probably want to just go back to where I am.

Yesterday, was a big day for around 500 APU students,
they've finally graduated,
and yes, it includes a very special someone.

oh it's starting to sound a little cheesy, but,
yes it includes you (if you read this).

You're the one, who never really give up on your childish behaviors,
You're the one, who never give up on your dreams,
You're the one, who never really care of what people say about your interest,
You're the one, who has just passed the finish line of college life.
You're the one, who apparently has sketched your path ahead,
You've made it!

No outstanding thesis,
neither to graduate with an outstanding GPA needed,
you've done so much more than that.

you've made me believe
not to give up on my dreams, even though they seem to be impossible,
to keep having faith, even when hope begins to fade,
to believe in you, who believe in me.

And, whenever you feel like your dreams are running away,
or whenever you feel like losing hope,
or whenever you lost your confidence,
or whenever you stop to believe in every Disney thing,

do remember that,
there's someone who will not give up on hope,
because you've made her so.

Congratulations, Randy Remigius.
this whole college chapter may end,
but there's a new story coming as you turn on the page,
so..

All the best for your graduate school in Sweden, and everything.
You still have a long and beautiful journey to continue.




:)

If only

Beppu, September 3rd, 2010

I've been spending the last three days back here in Beppu,
where most of the people are not around, where you got exactly nothing to be done,
and we still have 3 weeks left of the summer vacation.

I flew off along the way back here to Japan, bought a new ticket,
leaving my beloved back in Indonesia
for the sake of the scholarship interview, that I apparently couldn't pass.

Today, I've just realized why I couldn't get it.
My 2 competitors there confidently, exactly know what they wanna do, and so sure of what they are doing.

I don't.

I don't even know what I'm interested in, what I really wanna be, what my passion is all about.

Looking at the calender, laughing to myself.
it's 2010.
I'm now standing by the edge of my teenagers life, will be 20 in the next three months,
without knowing what my passion is all about
pathetic, I know.

I'd been spending most of this teenage life by being so anxious about
my so-called teenage-love-life.

I'd spent almost 5 years talking to the same guy,
been really busy with those text messages, midnight calls, laughter, fights,
cheesy jealousy, the excitement of Saturday night
and the cries whenever we broke up.
whom I later realize that he was not so into me.

He was the only thing I care about,
or I guess so despite of finding what my passion really is.

and are we still together now?
No.

and do this 6 years thingy eventually come up to nothing?
Neither.

I do not regret spending such long time,
I still have a crystal clear remembrance of those times,
at least I'm stronger now
and every single thing in those 5 years made every good in me.

It's not the matter of how much time wasted,
But the way I spend time is the only thing that matters,
from now on.

If only, I could spend those 5 years wisely,
I'd be a lot happier.
I'm sure.

and, by the way,
any idea where to find my passion?